TOPIC | Turning 21.

Me, at around 6 with family. Crazy curls.

I fully understand that some women will read this and think that the underlying point to this piece of writing is ridiculous, and I agree that it sort of is. But I can’t help feeling that I’m aging too quickly. I’m in the first leg of my journey through life but I am already finding myself becoming anxious about the future and feeling that I have not achieved nearly enough for my age.  I’m 21 as of July 6^th and that is not sitting well with me whatsoever.

By no means am I a failure, I wouldn’t downgrade myself to that extent, but when I see what some other people who are far removed from my life have achieved it doesn’t bode well for my confidence. I’ve just finished my second year of university, at which I am studying politics. I have yet to do any relevant work experience – I mention relevant because I do have work experience in the legal field but that’s no longer the career path I want to take. I have thoroughly enjoyed my time at university, but it has definitely been a university experience which sides more with the social than with the academic. I’m pulling OK grades in University, around 60's but nothing that I am particularly proud of and I feel like I am already a bit stuck for employment opportunities before I have even finished my degree.

People keep telling me that I’m only 21 and I do realise, the most productive days of life are far ahead of me, you hardly see 21 year old diplomats writing foreign policy legislation, but still, do you ever feel like this? In a rut. I’ve had one long term part time job which I did well at but it hardly counts towards my ultimate goal of working for the European Union. 

I have so many plans I never stick to. But I hope that this year I will be able to achieve what I feel is the best of my potential. Hopefully by the end of University I will have gotten myself a 2:1, will be on my way to speaking French at a comfortable level and will be able to say that I have experience in the political realm. I also want to take my writing a bit farther, right now it is just a hobby but it would be amazing if it could be more. I intend to make the most of my last year at university and really take advantage of any opportunities put before me, perhaps join some societies and network a bit more, who knows. I want to feel positive about myself, not that I don’t to a certain extent now but that’s more on a personal level. 

I have high expectations for myself, and it has taken me far too long to realise that I am the only person responsible for my future opportunities. Here’s to my 21^st year, lets hope it will be a good one! I understand this has been a bit of a downer post, but I like to write personal as well as beauty related posts every once in a while. 

All the best from a nostalgic, 21 year old Samantha xo

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Seize the Beautiful xo